Maybe you’re ready to redefine who you are and create a new normal in your life. If that resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with the same questions: How do we start to identify ourselves differently? How do we shift our routines and mindsets after living a certain way for years?

The Journey of Rediscovery

Embarking on a journey to rediscover yourself is not just about making changes; it’s about understanding what’s been holding you back. Resetting your normal requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to explore your past behaviors and patterns. It’s essential to examine these elements so you don’t slip back into a life that feels unfulfilling.

As humans, we thrive on routine and predictability. This comfort often creates a false sense of safety. However, our definitions of safety are shaped by our upbringing. 

Understanding Your Roots

One pivotal moment I experienced during my high conflict divorce coaching course was when they stated, “What we learn in our families shapes our beliefs about ourselves and the world.” Our early experiences become our initial normal, but that can evolve as we grow and encounter new situations. Recognizing these influences can help us understand why we revert to familiar patterns, especially after significant life changes.

Breaking the Cycle

In my own life, I found myself in unhealthy patterns in my first marriage. I reverted to trying to please him, losing sight of my own identity, and staying silent about my needs. This cycle will continue until it is broken and it teaches us that unless we engage in personal growth, we risk repeating the same mistakes with new people.

When relationships end, it’s an opportunity to reflect on old patterns and decide how you want to approach future connections. Rekindling your identity involves exploring what truly brings you joy and honoring who you are.

Embracing Discomfort

Leaving a relationship can feel uncomfortable, which is why many of us cling to what we know, even if it doesn’t serve us. However, leaning into that discomfort can open up a world of exciting possibilities. You may feel unprepared for change, but facing that unease is a significant act of courage.

Crafting Your New Normal

After years weighed down by expectations and judgments, I’ve realized how exhausting that mindset can be. Now, as I have had years of experience of navigating being single and a new blended family, I see the importance of recognizing what didn’t work in past relationships and how to show up differently.

Creating a new normal is about identifying how you want to feel each day and aligning your choices with those feelings. Here are some questions to guide your reflection:

- How do I want to feel in my life?

- What routines have been part of my normal?

- How do these routines make me feel?

- Do I want to continue with these habits?

- What’s missing from my life?

- How can I bring those desired feelings into my life regularly?

Take Your Time

You don’t need to figure it all out at once. Personal growth is a journey that takes time and commitment to self-love. For me, it has involved spending more time in nature and engaging in activities that align with my true self. The more you honor yourself, the closer you get to your authentic self.

If you’re looking for more insights and inspiration on your journey of rediscovery, consider following me on Instagram and subscribing to my newsletter. Let’s explore this path together, one step at a time!