Co-parenting with a high-conflict ex? Buckle up, because I’m about to hit you with some hard truths. If you’re serious about making co-parenting work (for your sanity and your child’s well-being), there are a few habits you need to cut right now.

These behaviors don’t just make your life harder—they feed the drama, drain your energy, and keep you stuck in a cycle of conflict. It’s time to stop playing into the chaos and start protecting your peace.

5 Things YOU Need to STOP Doing

1. Sending Long, Emotional Texts

I get it—you have so much you want to say. Maybe you’re trying to explain your side, defend yourself, or finally get your ex to see reason. But here’s the truth: they don’t care. A high-conflict co-parent will twist your words, ignore what matters, and use your emotions against you.

👉 The fix: Keep it short, neutral, and necessary (a.k.a. Yellow Rock). Less is more.

2. Reacting Instead of Responding

Your ex sends a nasty message, and before you know it, you’re firing back with an angry response. Sound familiar? The problem? They WANT you to react. That’s how they control the situation. Every time you react emotionally, you give them power.

👉 The fix: Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself: Do I NEED to respond? If so, respond calmly—not from a place of frustration.

3. Expecting Your Ex to Change

Maybe if you explain things better, they’ll finally understand. Maybe if you’re patient, they’ll start being reasonable. Nope. Not gonna happen. If they haven’t changed by now, they won’t magically wake up and start co-parenting like a pro.

👉 The fix: Accept who they are and adjust your approach. You can’t change them, but you CAN change how much power they have over your emotions.

4. Arguing Through the Kids

“Tell your dad he needs to pay for half of this.”
“Ask your mom why she’s always late.”
Nope. Just no. Your child is NOT a messenger. Using them this way puts them in the middle of conflict and forces them to carry emotional baggage that isn’t theirs.

👉 The fix: Communicate directly (briefly, professionally). If your ex refuses to cooperate, document it—but don’t drag your child into it.

5. Posting About the Conflict Online

I know you want people to see the truth. You’re hurt, frustrated, and maybe looking for support. But airing co-parenting drama online? Bad move. It can be screenshotted, used against you, and even impact custody.

👉 The fix: Vent to a trusted friend, journal it out, or talk to a therapist—but keep it offline. Protect your privacy and your case.

Breaking these habits isn’t easy, but it’s WORTH IT. Your peace matters. Your child’s well-being matters. And the sooner you stop feeding the drama, the sooner you take back control.